i've been a bad parent
I admit, I’ve been a little neglectful of this whole endeavor for a while. I suppose working two jobs like a madman will do that to you. However (get excited people!), I’m starting an amateur fondant and royal icing class at the FCI next week (squee!) so expect scads of cake porn in the near future. For the time being, enjoy some images of crap people made me draw on their ice cream...
At the behest (yes, it’s a word. google it) of reader skillzmcfly I’m going to attempt to make fondant from scratch this week. It seems fairly difficult painfully time-consuming so I can almost guarantee it’s going to be a tick in the lose column for me. I have the patience of an aging Wall-Street day trader (and, incidentally, the balance of a drunk toddler).
oops, i cheated– I made biscuits tonight. They weren’t from scratch. They were from Grands. But you have to admit, there’s something oddly satisfying about the mini explosion that happens when you stab the canister with a spoon. You know what I’m talking about.
for my next trick: croissants!– Oh, what’s that? Croissants are really tricky and actually require skill? How about pie? People still like pie, right?
it's my pastry, and i'll call it whatever i damn...
I decided to try petit fours for my Easter contribution, but was lost before I even started. My roommate (who took French in high school) claimed they were pronounced peh-teet-fours, while I (and mind you I am actually French) insisted it was pedi-fours (like pedicures, minus the mental imagery). Two days of fighting later and it turns out we’re both right. Oh well, mini victories are still...
Well, technically they’re called ‘blondies,’ but I think ‘albino brownies’ sounds so much better (no offense to albinos. I’m pretty pale myself). I didn’t realize before I started that the brownie/blondie/albino batter was more or less a sugary gel so I was pretty much convinced this was going to end in disaster once I reached the sugar-sludge portion....
my poop is blue!– Note to self: there is such a thing as too much food coloring, as evidenced by my Superbowl-themed Colts blue cupcakes (whatever, we all wanted the Saints to win anyways). That, or there should be a law on how many bright blue cupcakes one should eat in a 24-hour period.
This tumblr is born at the urging of my nerdy awesome roommate. According to her, I have “nothing better to do” (true, but ouch) and can use this opportunity to learn a bit about the interwebs. There were a few more reasons, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll spare you the details. Instead, we’ll get on to the task at hand. I want to be a chef. A pastry chef, to be precise....